Her situation convinced her even more that she should leave Lebanon. But her employer told her she would have to pay first $2,000, the amount which her employer paid for her airfare and agency. If she fails to pay the amount, her employer threatened to “sell” her to another employer who would pay for her expenses.
Desperate
Soon enough, Hadjirudin became desperate. Once, she tried to jump off the balcony of their room on the sixth floor. Her leg was already outside the grills when a neighbor in the next balcony saw her and stopped her from jumping.
“Hinawakan niya ako sa isang hita,” she recalled. “Tapos parang bumalik ako sa katinuan.” (She grabbed my leg. That brought me back to my senses)
She was comforted by two Filipinas in the same hotel who promised to bring her along when they go to the Philippine embassy. But when they failed to show up on the scheduled day, she felt completely helpless. Hadjirudin was desperate to return home at all cost.
She tried to break the window glass with her hands, which only ended up swelling. “Masakit pa nga hanggang ngayon,” (It still hurts) she said. Finally, she broke the window by throwing an ash tray. She was going to jump through the broken window when her employer saw her and stopped her.
“Para nga akong batang nagwawala,” she said. “Hindi ko na alam kung anong nangyari sa akin basta gusto ko nang makauwi.” (I was like a child in tantrums. I didn’t know what I was thinking, I was so desperate to get home.)
