Amid the heated public debate regarding the divorce bill filed recently by Gabriela, battered women such as Maricon Reazo await its passage to be given another chance at having a happy family life.
By ANNE MARXZE D. UMIL
Bulatlat.com
MANILA – As soon as the divorce bill was filed, it immediately generated a lot of emotional reactions from different sectors, especially the Catholic church. Unable to shy away from the debate on the divorce bill, President Benigno Simeon Aquino III recently declared that he is against divorce but is for legal separation with the option to remarry, which some sectors say is tantamount to divorce.
In the Philippines, which has a predominantly conservative Roman Catholic population, divorce is frowned at in public, although a lot of married couples have been living separately. Couples from wealthy families travel abroad to get divorced and to remarry. The Philippines is only one of two countries that do not have a divorce law yet. Gabriela said Malta, a Mediterranean island, has yet to legislate a divorce bill, too.
Women’s group Gabriela and Gabriela Women’s Party (GWP) are pushing for the passage of House Bill 1799, “An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines.” Filed recently by GWP Representatives Luzviminda Ilagan and Emmie de Jesus in Congress, they said this would give couples particularly women the option to terminate a marriage that is no longer working, is already beyond saving and already detrimental to their well-being.
Maricon Reazo, hopes that divorce bill will be passed in Congress(Photo by Anne Marxze D. Umil / bulatlat.com)
To Maricon Reazo, 46, the proposed law would help solve a huge problem. She has formed a new family but is still married to her ex-husband with whom she has a son. If there is a divorce law, she would immediately divorce her ex-husband to make her current partner her lawful husband. Reazo was a battered wife in her first marriage. She was physically abused by her first husband who became alcoholic and later a drug addict.
“For all parties concerned, nothing good could emanate from a marriage where there is no longer respect, love and affection between spouses. Most often, where marriage has taken a turn for the worse, it is the woman who suffers the brunt of it,” Jovita Montes, health services director of Gabriela, told Bulatlat.
“The absence of a law on divorce is a crucible that will help us move forward from the lowest global ranking on this matter, as globally the Philippines remains as one of just two countries that has no divorce law yet,” Ilagan said in a statement.
Too Early To Get Married
Reazo’s story is representative of stories of many girls who thought they were in love, little knowing that life with the man they married would be difficult.
When Reazo was 20, she eloped with Ninoy who was then only 17. She described him as a young man with “brains” and seemed headed to a good future. “He was taking up Commerce and had only one more year in college before graduating.”
She said it was Ninoy’s family who urged them to get married, while her own mother was against it, saying both Reazo and Ninoy hardly knew each other. Eventually the two got married in 1984, Ninoy’s family insisted on paying for their extravagant wedding, as they were a bit well off. “We married in church complete with an entourage and a reception with a roasted cow. It was considered extravagant in a place like Abra.”
But after two years Ninoy changed. He became an alcoholic. Later he became addicted to illegal drugs. “We already have a son then, when he began to get violent.”
Like other married women, she hoped that Ninoy would change. “I wanted to save our marriage because we have a son and we already have our own house. I dreamed of a better family life in the future so I endured all his beatings, thinking that he would change.”
She said when Ninoy got drunk he would throw a bottle at them and beat her up in front of their son. For two years she endured all that.
Then one day her uncle told her to run away and live with her mother in Manila, because Ninoy would never change.
“My uncle told me one time when my son and I took shelter in their house, that I should love myself also and leave my husband.” So, with her son, she did run to her mother and arrived in Manila full of bruises and contusions.
They reported to the police what happened to her. But even when already away from Ninoy, her son was still afraid when night time came. “When it was getting dark my son would say in Ilocano, “Mother, let’s hide now. Father would hurt you again.” Then he would begin to cry.
I am for divorce. We must all be realistic–why must spouses be together when there is no longer any semblance of a harmonious union? In effect, the whole family will just suffer. The children will eventually understand the situation when they get older and thus clearing things up. The respective spouses must be given the fair opportunity to re-marry. We all deserve to have a second chance at marriage.
I hope that Gabriela would try to launch signature campaigns at busy places where people, particularly women, converge. More power!
See? Till death do us part daw eh. Yan ang ipinipilit ng simbahan. Kaya yang mga battered wife na yan, bayaan na lang mamatay dahil sa pambubugbog ng asawa mapanindigan lang yan till death do us part ng simbahan. How cruel! Yan ba ang ipinaglalaban ng simbahan natin? You don't know how it feels like to suffer when you are being beaten by someone who is supposed to protect you.
Ok na may divorce ang Pinas…diyan lang magaling ang mga religious group sa sa pagharang harang sa ganoon na bill.. Christian Country daw ang Pinas bakit sa Roma at Italy nandoon ang Santo Papa walang problema sa kanila. OA! lang ang mga religious group sa atin sa totoo lang hindi naman sila makatulong kong may problema ang mag asawa. Sana manahimik nalang sila hindi naman pinagbayad nang tax sa gobyerno.
Those who seek only happiness in their married life is never true marriage at at all….
If they only marry for the sake of getting divorced again because of misgivings, its better not to get married at all….
The message of marriage is indissolubility and permanence. Both male and female made exchanges with each other "for richer, for poorer, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, until death do us part…" They swore not only to GOD but to the people who act as witness to the bind….
Divorce never solves a shaky marriage….it worsens it…
Divorce is nothing more but doing what they want to mock up marriage if it does not go according to plan….to gain advantage of their partner.
As I see it, P-noy wants a divorce bill to be pushed by legislative to suit the needs of his sister who is filing an annulment case which is a dis-adv to his sister….Just like his mother putting an SDO provision on the agrarian reform law to spare their family land…. Too sad, but its just my opinion to say so..