In the first stopover on the way to the guerilla camp, Lila was “tested” by a Red commander.
“Sabi nila anak ka ng military… Anong pagkakaiba ng sundalo at NPA?” (They said that you’re a daughter of a military man… so what’s the difference between a soldier and an NPA?) he asked.
“Parehas lang (They’re just the same),” Lila answered. She was used to being in the company of military men. To her, soldiers had been her father’s bodyguards, and they were kind to her and her family. As children, she and her siblings had spent summers at Camp Aguinaldo. Although she could differentiate the soldiers as the defenders of the exploiting class from the Red fighters who truly defend the people and having gone on an integration back in 1981.Lila felt that she disappointed the interviewer with her answer.
In the next days, Lila moved with the unit from house to house, in the Igorot villages in the mountains. Then the investigation began.
“Dun ko nalaman yung kay utol. Parang lahat ng sinasabi nilang sinabi niya, kasinungalingan. Mukhang pinahirapan siya talaga, kung sinabi niya nga ‘yun (It was there that I learned about my brother. Everything they claimed that he confessed to were all lies. He must have been severely tortured for him to say those things),” Lila said.
The investigating team told her that her brother Arman had admitted being an enemy agent, of arranging the abduction of three comrades who were missing at that time. He was also accused of having an affair with the wife of another comrade. They told her that the woman admitted that she recruited Lila as a DPA, too. They even claimed that there was a taped conversation to prove it.
The investigation even used her personal weaknesses to feed the suspicions against her.
“Uwi raw ako nang uwi, marami raw akong crush (They said that I was always going home to my family, that I was attracted to many men.),” Lila said.
“Paulit-ulit na tanong, paulit-ulit na sagot… Tatlong araw na hindi ako kumain – hunger strike! Umiiyak talaga ako (They asked questions repeatedly, and I answered the same…I refused to eat in protest – hunger strike! I just kept crying),” she recalled.
After three days, Lilay was very weak and restless. There was buzzing in her ear and she kept seeing flashes of white when she shuts her eyes. “Dun na siguro ‘yung ‘sasayad’ ka na, kasi gutom ako tapos me depression (I must have been at the verge of losing my mind, because I was both hungry and depressed),” Lila said.
Lila asked for food. They only gave her biscuits and milk at first to reintroduce food to her system. It was a good thing that she began eating again for she would need all her strength back.
“Kinabukasan, alerto, me kaaway (The next day, we were alerted by enemy presence nearby),” Lila recounted. They had to climb higher up the mountains to elude the government troops. That’s why you always have to eat on time when you’re in the mountains, a Red commander told Lila.
Treatment
Aside from the occasional, repeated interrogation, Lila said she was treated well.
“Hinahayaan lang nila ako. Hindi ako nakagapos hindi kagaya ng mga lalaking bihag” (They just let me be. I had no handcuffs unlike those male captives),” she said.
Inspite of her status and the baseless accusations, Lila kept in mind that she was still a revolutionary, still one of the comrades. She got along well with most of the Red guerillas. She would do propaganda work with the mass base along with the NPA unit. Occasionally, the unit leaves her behind when they conduct tactical offensives.
“Pag sinasama ako sa mga bahay, nagma-mass work din ako, nagpo-prop. Wala akong babanggitin, kasi internal ang problema (When we went to peasant homes, I had political discussions with the masses. But I kept silent on my being a prisoner, because the problem is internal),” she said.
“Pero sasaktan ka rin nila (But they hurt you in different ways),” Lila said.
For one, the investigation on the charges against her was already taking too long. She was told that the provincial committee could not touch her case because it was up to the regional committee to decide.
